Thursday, December 9, 2010

i'm kinda sorta, maybe thinking about next month...

stopping breastfeeding. (insert gasps) i know, i currently hate myself for even thinking it--but that is slowly subsiding. here is the deal--stella has been exclusively breastfed for going on nine whole months and as of late is SUPER antsy while she nurses.
she is down to about 3-4 times a day now and it just isn't quality time anymore, for me for sure and it doesn't seem like for her either. she kicks me, scratches me, hangs from my mouth like it is a ledge, grabs my jugular and pinches, wiggles all the while tugging my nipples with her, and to top it all of is now the proud owner of s-i-x sharp little teeth.
not to mention the fact that i have been feeling like my supply has gone way down. i have been hitting the fenugreek and water hard even throwing some oatmeal cookies in there so it seems to be a little better, but especially at night she has woken up at 4ish a few times wanting to eat like she was starving.
the game plan: at stel's nine month well child i am going to mention to her doctor my thoughts and see what she thinks (i am betting that she will support me, i mean it is great that i got to nine months and i have heard that it is only nutritionally beneficial over formula to eight months) and do you want to hear the best part? remember this photo:

if i stop at the end of next month, there is enough frozen breastmilk to get her to a year. no joke.
then i am thinking about putting her on the graduated formula for a bit until we transfer in whole milk or rice milk.
honestly the thought of stopping bums be out, 1. it feels so good to be providing for my baby and knowing that i am giving her the best opportunities health wise by doing so. 2. it is so convenient. just the thought of having to worry about bringing frozen milk anywhere not to mention how i will heat it up to thaw it or thawing it beforehand and hoping it stays fresh. gah.
before stella was born i had only promised myself that we would at the very least make it to six months, then when that came and went i was sure we'd go beyond a year--taking cues from stella on when we would stop.
one the other hand, i lately i have been dreaming about having my body back--being able to diet and not worry i am going to diminish my supply.

i am so torn. what do you think?

*thanks everyone so much for your support and ideas! i already plan on donating what's leftover, i have had that in the works since about 3 months--i think it is such an amazing cause! i definitely am thinking along the lines of going to 1-2 times a day more for comfort times. we'll see what happens :)

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Shawntae @ alittlekingandi said...

Ouch six teethers? That would hurt. I seriously think it's awesome that you have done it this long. If you choose to stop I will support you. I think it's amazing that ya'll can do it this long anways.


bohomamasoul said...

you made it to nine months and that is amazing. every mama that nurses has their own journey, and this one is yours. if it's time, it's time! and you know what? if bringing frozen milk out with you is too much of a hassle, donate it and put her on formula for the next 3 months (which is such a short time). i'm a breastfeeding mama as well, but i'm not of the camp that pushes nursing forever on everyone; that's just not reality. you do what's best for you guys, and we'll support you!

rachel said...

dude. that is a LOT of breastmilk in the freezer. you GO girl!

Unknown said...

I will be totally supportive no matter what you decide to do! Nursing with teefers sucks. Ryan had 16 when we stopped. He also did get to the point where it was a circus everytime we nursed. I am pretty sure by 9/10 months we were only in the morning when he woke up and then before bed. maybe he if he was really asking for it during the day. We just nursed on his terms. He was eating 3 meals a day and snacks so I wasnt worried about him starving. You probably have more milk than you think you do, if you didnt she would be done dont worry too much about keeping up a supply or nursing her for meals if shes eating other food. Sorry this is long I could go on forever. If its killing you to be done then dont. You can get away with only nursing once a day for a LONG time (MONTHS)
I am here to bounce ideas off of if you want! Good luck either way :) Just do whats best for you

Jackson & Theo's Mama said...

Jackson does the same thing when he nurses! Scratches, pinches, on and off, looking @ himself in the closet mirror talking to his handsome self. The only time we get some quality nursing time is when he is tired and 1st thing in the morning. I agree that each mama & baby has their own journey. Good for you for sticking with it this long and whatever decision you make is your decision. No one has the right to judge that! Good Luck!! (let us know how it goes. I am curious to see if it is painful or not)

Mandy@ a sorta fairytale said...

I'm going through this right now, too. Over the last month I have dropped a feeding every week. And now, finally, we're down to only nursing at night.
I was SO torn about it. But like you, I felt like the "quality time" wasn't there anymore. Bennett was so distracted and wiggly that it was so much work to get him to pay attention. It took me months to figure out that he was kinda weaning himself. I think you've done great so far! And I think that only you know what is right for you and for Stella. And like you said, you have a ridiculous amount of frozen milk in the freezer for her, so she'll still be getting your milk even when you stop breastfeeding. These choices aren't easy but whatever you decide it will work out! :)

Anonymous said...

I am a little late to this but I can totally relate. My son is 10 months and I just really don't enjoy nursing him! It has me so conflicted because I loved it with my older son and we made it to 15 months. Thing is, I don't think my baby even likes nursing anymore so it will be a win/win when we stop. Maybe that is the case for Stella as well.
I love your blog (new reader here) and whatever you decide to do, I think Stella will be just fine!

FootPrints said...

9 months is GREAT. You do what you need to do. every mother has their own Breast feeding journey.

you did a great job storing up! and you will make another little baby very happy with your donation.