Friday, February 25, 2011

we've officially stopped bf'ing: someone hold me.

so, i was totally ok that stella had weaned herself over the last couple of weeks. i was enjoying having my body all to myself and that stella was happy drinking milk from a cup. then as i laid in bed the other night feeling the milk leave me...i seriously started crying.
she was down to 3-4 times a day and we had replaced all other feeding with bm in a cup or formula, but i was still morning feeding her and i loved it. i still got to snuggle her close for those precious 15 minutes every morning. then one day tim got up before me with the girls and as i sunk deeper into the warm bed i mumbled to him to just give her a cup of milk-and that was that, i knew when i woke up it was over.
the last month had been a struggle-keeping her focused and interested...or even full. i never even expected to make it past 6 months, so when that date came and went i was sure i would go for awhile longer. even past a year.
that is the part that makes me sad, i know making it eleven months is really great but i feel like i let us both down. which honestly is a weird feeling to come by, zoe wasn't breastfed at all and rowan only for about 4 months. zoe, never sick a single day until she hit preschool is literally (and i am not kidding) above and beyond all kids intelligence wise in her class-so any preconceived notions about breastfeeding being the best way for those reasons in blown out of the water.
really more than anything i enjoyed the closeness and bonding. that is what i will miss.

4 comments:

Shawntae said...

You are such a awesome mom! I bet you lvoed the bond but at least you did it that long is amazing.

I still can't believe she's going to be ONE sooo crazy!

Amanda Michelle said...

Off subject... thanks so much for your comment on our blog... we are freakin STOKED to meet everyone for the VERY first time ever! Ah I'm pretty nervous because everyone is so amazeballs! I can't wait though, and it's just going to be so much fun!
Also... I was super sad when I had to stop bf'ing after only 2 short weeks; believe me when I say this will only be the beginning of SO many bonding moments just the two of you will share! No one will ever understand how hard it is, but you can do it! :)
Oh, and because this comment is so completely random; your engagement pics are so adorable! xoxo

allie said...

now i'm sad! henry stopped breastfeeding around his one year birthday and it IS hard! it sucks. i really like amanda's comment though, only the beginning of so many more bonding moments? bring it!

Lisa B said...

I can so relate. Violet is turning 5 and I still miss nursing her, even though it was 4yrs ago. sniff sniff