Tuesday, August 30, 2011

i'm married, so you get guest bloggers!

well, that's it-the decorations are put away and the band has gone home. the stress, saving, head spinning, planning, dancing, and drinking are done and tim and i are married! i have known all along that i picked the right one and could stand by this love the rest of my life. this week while i go on my honeymoon-ok...that's a lie haha we will most likely be moving into our new home with a honeymoon planned for later in the year; in the meantime i have asked some old and new friends to share about their marriages. i am so excited to introduce you to some wonderful new people and i can't wait to share with you about our wedding!
today i have asked courtney from the mommy matters to drop in and share her wisdom. her blog is a new discovery of mine and i am absolutely in love! she is a military wife, where i am sure life isn't always the easiest but so worth it at the same time. let's see what she has to say!

Disney’s Got it all Wrong
by Courtney @ The Mommy Matters

Growing up, I was a Disney Princess kind of girl. 
The Little Mermaid, Cinderella and Beauty and the Beast topped out as my favorite movies. I watched them on repeat, over and over and over again. Fantasizing and dreaming of the day that my handsome prince would come and sweep me off of my feet. We’d have a beautiful and extravagant wedding, ride a carriage off into the sunset and live happily ever after.
Fast-forward 15 years and here I am, married to a military man and chasing around a three year old day in and day out. To say that I got a “fairy tale” ending would be a bit extreme. 
We had a nice wedding…but small. A total of maybe 100 people showed up to watch us say our vows. We ate meatballs and the groom’s cake was in the shape of the University of Alabama’s Collegiate Logo. There was no dancing, no toasting, just a good old fashion get together. We rode off into the sunset in a little black Chevrolet Cobalt, and spent the first night of our married life at a Ramada Inn in Tallahassee, Florida. 
Nothing about that scenery screams Walt Disney.
During the first year of our marriage, I found myself feeling a bit…disappointing with what marriage was really like. We didn’t spend every single second of our time wrapped up in one another’s arms and eating meals by candlelight. In fact, most of the meals we cooked during that first year of marriage were from a box (think Hamburger Helper, people…and a lot of it). We only burned candles to cover the smell of the cigarette smoke that was left from the tenants that had lived in our apartment before we moved in.
I spent a lot of time being weepy and whiney and complaining about life. Where was that fairytale? Why wasn’t everyday a blissful oasis of romance? That wasn’t what I signed up for.
Umm…yeah right.
You see, good old Walt and his Disney crew really set us girls up for a letdown when it comes to marriage because in actuality, things just aren’t that easy. Sure, there are usually honeymoons and nice weddings and romantic evenings during those first few weeks or (if you’re lucky) months of marriage. But what Mr. Disney failed to mention was what happened behind the closed castle doors.
I’m sure after Cinderella, her Prince and their mice got back from a nice little vacation in their magic pumpkin, she found herself back to where she started: scrubbing the floors, doing the dishes, making sure that “prince charming” was all taken care of. Surely she had some sort of help around the “house” (you know, since they were royalty and all) but all of my fellow married ladies know that it could easily take more than one woman to clean up behind a man.
The reality of marriage is that it’s hard. Like crazy, crazy hard. And our husbands—no matter how wonderful they are, how well meaning they can be, and how much we love them—are going to drive us crazy. They’re going to get on our nerves. The house is going to get dirty. The dishes are going to pile up. The kids (when they come along) are going to send you over the edge and make you want to snatch your hair out. And you can bet that on those days, romance is the last thing that is going to be on your mind.
But in the end, despite the frustration, the arguments, the fights and the disagreements…that man, that handsome prince that you met and fell in love with in the beginning, is still there. Somewhere beneath the extra pounds he’s packed on from all of the hamburger helper work and effort that it takes to maintain your relationship, that initial love and appreciation for each other still exists. It’s just a matter of taking time to find it.
Disney movies are great for entertainment. And even now, it’s fun to sit back as a grown married woman and envision what “that” life would be like. I’m sure I could get used to having someone do the laundry for me and scrub my floors…
But, no matter how appealing that is, I think I’ll stick with my Prince. He might not wear shining armor or ride around on a white horse, but he looks pretty good in his Military Uniform, and he loves me, and our son.
In the end, that’s the only “happily ever after” I really need.
Thanks so much to Melissa for giving me a chance to write a little something-something and share it in her space. I’m wishing her many, many years of happiness and love to her and her Prince Charming.