Tuesday, May 29, 2012

the light at the end of the tunnel.

a couple of weeks ago i registered for my last five classes before graduation, wait, what? i will take three this summer, which is so nuts to do, but with baby coming in the fall i didn't want to be too overwhelmed with classes to be able to handle doing both my mom gig and student gig. in the fall i will take my last two, one is a writing and reading heaving english class but i should do ok.

somewhere during all of this i will apply for graduation - this is so nuts to me, when i got bored and walked away from higher education when i was eighteen, i was sure that was it, it just wasn't for me. i was so wrong though, i think college works better for you when you want it and finally need it in your life. when i went back on my own terms, not because it was what i was suppose to do next, it meant so much more to me, so much more was on the line. and this time i was paying for it.

there were at least five times i leaned towards quitting because i was overwhelmed but in the end all it took was a little soul searching to find what path fit my feet best, so here it is...

if you have followed along at all, you know i have flip flopped on my end plan a lot - isn't that what you do in college? i started out with a major lust to finish in ultrasound technology, where i wanted to focus in ob/gyn ultrasound and possibly cardiac - bellevue college had one of the best and few programs in the pnw but it came with a lot of expectations. when i realized that it would take more then i was willing, or frankly had time for, considering the focus put into the math part of the pre program i changed my direction towards radiology technician, i don't think i was ever selling myself short, i just had to be realistic in my desires.

i changed direction towards radiology technician, this actually excited me more, because at one point or another i was on the fence about pregnancy ultrasound, there could be so much sadness tied up in that job, maybe more then i was ready to handle. radiology was a better fit for me, the gpa expectations were a little lower, there wasn't nearly as much higher math involved, and i could totally get behind $60,000 a year. i was already half way though my preprogram credits because of ultrasound but the biggest hurdle i would have to attack would be anatomy and physiology - after attending a information seminar on the program i learned this program was just as if not more competitive as the ultrasound one - out of 150 or so applicants in the end only about 30 go through each year. this was if you could pull a 4.0 in both of those science classes i just mentioned. bring it on.

(sorry for the longest post in existence, journaling, you know?)

while anatomy was amazingly fun, getting to learn about the body and its workings this class required about eight hours of studying and homework a day and i was taking it during summer, so instead of a eleven week course it was nine. stella was barely one and the girls were home for the summer - eight hours of school work on top of the four in class daily, i was not prepared for how i would struggle. i finished the class with a b+ but that is not a 4.0.

so tim and i talked and were realistic - it would probably take me at least one more try in this class then two in physiology to get the 4.0, then the reality is i probably wouldn't get into the program on my first try, then two years in the program, so that is about four years of waiting to get a job. so, in the fall i will graduate with a associates in arts and sciences transfer degree. even though what i am about to do next will have nothing to do with that degree, it still says, "i finished" and if i ever change paths again, that chapter is done i can pick up from there.

this is when i started to get really interested in the inner working of being a doula - i started joining in on twitter parties and picking my doula friends brains and knew this is what i wanted, this was really it. bastyr offers a short but informative program that i can take at just about anytime and that will be happening this winter. currently i am loving the idea of also getting certified to become a lactation consultant, i feel even more passionately about this but will be on more of a volunteer basis and tie nicely into my doula work.

so, i guess the point of this 5000 word post really is, who cares if you have three kids and are twenty-six...your dreams and a great career are still out there!


melissa rohr said...

Good for you girl!!! Seriously, you have accomplished a lot and you  will be an awesome doula! :)