did you miss us? don't worry, we were here all along buried somewhere under piles of homework and opportunities to play in the sun! i may have gotten in over my head with the eighteen credits i signed on for this quarter but let's talk again about that next month, if i survive...
I'd like to think of myself as a "cool mom," and not because i drive a kick arse gold minivan but because i said i would be when i was thirteen, and well i just am.
i even wrote out a list once for my mom to put away that would prove when i was a mom someday i would do "these" things unlike all the crappy stuff my parents inflicted on us. where's the list, huh? i bet i do follow a lot of what i swore by, except yelling, i'll admit, i yell, it's the scorpio in me i guess, but i promise i hug and kiss a lot more.
that being said, i think i am being punished this year, with arguing, and bickering by my two oldest children. two oldest children? who am i? i am about to have baby number f-o-u-r and i am only about to celebrate my ten year reunion this summer. i am not complaining though.
back to the eye scratching, i mean arguing - my daughters, oh...my daughters - isn't it funny when you have those clarifying moments when you want to put your hand on your parents' shoulder and say, "i am sorry - i totally understand now." you know you do! i have been having a lot of those lately.
it has been a lot about who gets to sit in the middle seat of the van first or who sat there last time and i am having total deja vu moments of exact fights with my sister. or when rowan, who is younger, friends want more to do with zoë suddenly then rowan. or how zoë JUST CAN"T TAKE NO for a answer, that was so me, oh lord that was so me. i mean, shoot me now.
back to being a cool mom, our whole world revolves around these kids - the whole damn thing and i am starting to fear they aren't even grateful for it. tim pointed out to me the other day that i go nuts spoiling them and they usually aren't even asking for it. why is that? why am i spoiling...brats?
god, i don't even know where i am going with this post.
maybe i am writing it down so the truth is concrete, where does the switch flip and you become your parents? it really is a crazy when you hit that point! a lot of my friends just barely have kids stella's age and are moving on to number two, so i am not sure who is here with me yet, but you'll get here, i promise.
i can't even ask you to send wine...
so we endure and i try to say no more and spoil less. i laugh when my kids argue about things i used to argue about and really try and let them sort it out - as long as there is no blood, why not?