Monday, February 18, 2013

getting the boot

i sit here totally conflicted as robin snoozes away, fifteen feet from me, in his own room. tonight he starts sleeping in his crib. granted i am going to join him in there for a few nights to ease us both into this transition but i wanted to talk, or vent, a little about how we got here, or even why we weren't here sooner.

robin is almost four months old, wait what? all of the girls were in their own cribs by now. since robin was born i have set small monthly goals for us - i would never force a "schedule" on him, but eventually we need to be a working well oiled machine and that means having some normalcy and routine. so, at three months i wanted him to be in his own crib - but then we all got sick and our nighttime routine got all shaken up with a baby wanting to sleep sooner, excuse excuse excuse. 

well, not excuse - the real truth is, for about two or three weeks i fell into a little bout with post-partum anxiety (i won't say depression because anxiety is exactly what it was.) i became suddenly convinced that something was going to happen to him in his sleep and my head would spin circles around that idea all  day  long. we had a angelcare pad so that settled my mind a little and i didn't lose too much sleep, but then right around three months robin got more "mobile" in his cradle and we started getting alarms. you can imagine the crazy ninja maneuver i did to the cradle the first time it went off.

then my nightmares started becoming realities - as it turned out, robin was suffering slightly from some sleep apnea type episodes. it was something that we had noticed early on, but i knew babies just do that, stop breathing (or their breathing gets very shallow) for short periods, then start right back up again. with everything going on with me though, i started to notice it more and more, so we switched from the angel care pad to a snuza - this device is the coolest ever! instead of just monitoring when he stops breathing, it clips onto his diaper and if it detects no movement for ten seconds it vibrates to stimulate him, then if still no movement it alarms. if it has had to vibrate at all in the night when we wake up in the morning there is a warning light flashing. the morning this happened we finally went to the doctor with our concerns.

maybe all of my worrying was for a real reason. realizing this, my mind instantly relaxed a little.

our pediatrician had real concerns based off everything i told her but wanted to try something before we sent him off for numerous sleep studies. she asked me to stop swaddling robin, that would keep him from falling into such a deep sleep, where his breathing was becoming so shallow.

the good news is, all issues ceased immediately once we started un-swaddling one of his arms. i am more calm and relaxed now and we are getting a lot of sleep.

so, that was all a few weeks ago and now he is almost four months old and i am moving him to his crib because tim is waking him up when he gets ready for work. in a perfect world i would keep in my room for longer, but this is best for everyone. his bassinet is still up in my room and will stay that way for awhile so i can pull him into our room whenever it suit any of us. 

it's a real thing to suffer from anxieties or depression after you have a baby and it is totally ok to tell the world about it. i kept it in at first because i was scared but as soon as i started talking about it a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders. 

when did your little one start sleeping in their own crib? was it hard for you or a easy transition?


Discovery Street said...

We transitioned Parker to the guest room that shares our bedroom wall early about 2 weeks. Then her nursery at about 2 months. It was hard.but my husband insisted. I'd probably still have her in my room if it were up to me!