Wednesday, April 10, 2013

fifty-two lists, week fourteen.

rambling engage...

i am a little late the game but i am so excited about the week i am jumping into, as this exact topic has been heavy on my heart and mind lately. i have been all about de-cluttering my thoughts, emotions, house, and goals lately. i am always all over the place making it hard to stay on pace to the finish.

if my all over the place isn't evident on here then let me tell you about my journey through college...
i enrolled because i wanted to be a ultrasound technician, more specifically an obstetrics and gynecological sonographer. then i had a change of heart when i couldn't imagine being the person in the room, trying not to cry, having to keep a straight face, when bad news was immanent. i was still ultrasound focused but started to do the math on how difficult it was going to be for me to manage the entry requirements and course load it would bring. i started looking into radiology - it was a lot easier to get into this program and lets be honest the math intensive pre reqs for ultrasound would not go over well with me. i signed up for anatomy and physiology because this would be the last piece before i could apply to that department - what a joke, i was kidding myself when i thought i could manage this class. maybe if i was not a mother of three, one still a baby, and trying to plan a wedding while enrolled. i barely scraped by grade wise and for the program i would have had to get one hundred percent. so, tim and i did the math again and i got stuck in a lull of trying to decide what to do next. fast forward to the spring and i was pregnant with robin. having such an amazing natural journey with my pregnancy and birth with him i suddenly was feeling a strong call to be a doula and lactation educator. this had nothing to do with anything i just studied but we were already so deep into student loans and credits that tim and i agreed i should just wrap up an associates transfer degree so i would at least have that mark on my resume. are you still with me?

my dream job list is equally scattered, some are real goals in the works, or things that are part of our "later" plan. like a u-pick farm, a dream job of my husbands that i have hijacked. some are jobs i have in the works currently - an etsy shop has been created and is awaiting hand-made clothing for little people, the details are still being ironed out. forms are being filled out so that i can start birth and postpartum skills training. a lot is happening, a lot.

about high school age i decided my life long dream was to just be a homemaker, i know, women wincing everywhere. while this has been my most fulfilling job to date, i have been feeling a tug that i was meant to do a little more. it could be the debt talking, in fact it is, i am growing tired of just getting by, of just barely being able to make the "extra" stuff happen for us just because.

i still want to be a lactation consultant, i am still working towards that, slowly, but i have settled more on just being part of a community support system for all things tiny people related. my lists holds some big dreams, that sure i would love to check off, but will have to be on hold till my tiny people are bigger.

knowing me this list will probably be different in five years but still a lot the same. i always thought i wanted to be a preschool teacher, then a mom, then a birth/parenting educator - aren't those all the same thing? i am ok with it changing - life changes, we don't stay the same, or at least we shouldn't and our goals have to adjust to fit. in the mean time i am just moving forward, exploring my goals, trying to accept that i deserve to do what i want not what i should do.

what are you dream jobs? 

fifty-two lists is a awesome link up created by moorea of moorea-seal.com. you should join in or at the very least check out her lists and everyone who has linked up.

5 comments:

melissa rohr said...

"i still want to be a lactation consultant, i am still working towards that" that's awesome. This would be at the top of my list too, for sure! Along with professional baby snuggler <3 Love it!

<3 somethinglikeafairytale.com

melissa rohr said...

This is so interesting. I always wanted to work in the city and have a glamorous life and then I met my now-husband. At twenty-six, I'm a SAHM to two precious babies and I could NOT be happier. I know one day, they'll start school and I'll have to really think about what happens next. I sometimes wish I had a skill that allowed me to make money while being a SAHM but unfortunately a degree in Classics doesn't provide many WAHM opportunities! Great blog!


London mama blogger at www.samandasha2.blogspot.com

melissa rohr said...

don't we all! haha, for years i have been trying to come up with a somewhat original etsy product that i could make and sell to supplement my husbands income so i could stay home. who knows, it could happen :)

melissa rohr said...

Aww I would LOVE to be a professional baby snuggler! Wonderful list

Nik

14th & Peachtree

melissa rohr said...

I like that one "closet photographer." I used to love photography, and I even had a beautiful SLR camera (before the days of digital) which took the most amazing pictures. I really need to get back into it. And now I'm inspired to make my own list! Thanks so much for the inspiration, so glad I found your blog.