Thursday, April 18, 2013

mama memoirs: playing with food

breastfeeding has to easily be one of the hardest jobs - constant availability, worry, production, performance ups and downs, comfort levels, and etc etc etc. a position you hold for a year or two and then spend ten missing...

until the other day i sat firmly on the food is for fun until one, not starting solids till later, etc etc camp. when we were in minnesota i decided that we were at a good point to start exploring foods, not eating them, just seeing what they are all about. robin has been pretty interested in the concept of eating for weeks now - mimicking our mouths, diving for food, and happily sitting up straight in his highchair during our meal times. so, robin got to suck on a pickle or a hard biscuit or a carrot without actually ingesting any of it. i really wish i had gotten the pickle on video! to say he loved it is an understatement. when tim would pull it away robin would dive for it, grabbing tim's hands and forcing the pickle back into his mouth - it was so funny!

another side to this story is my struggle with breastfeeding lately. i know a huge issue with breastfeeding women is always worrying about your supply, a lot of time feeling like you just aren't making enough but really it is just your body evening out to the demand so you feel less full then you are. but, i knew there was a real problem when robin would suck and suck at the end of a session, with no swallowing. i would let this go on for a bit hoping to stimulate another let down but there wouldn't be one, so i would pull him off and he would cry, obviously still hungry. this was so painful for me to watch, instantly feeling like a failure. pumping was the same thing, i was lucky to get a ounce which was a huge change from our early nursing days. i have tried fenugreek but robin was very allergic and would vomit a lot, all day long. brewers yeast didn't really have much of an impact, same with sweet potatoes and oatmeal. i've tried some tinctures and other drops but those are very pricey and at the amount they recommend to take, i just can't with that. then, the other day i tried power pumping every hour for ten minutes and just fed robin bottles of that + my frozen supply, that spiked it for about twenty-four hours then we were back where we started.

with stella i pumped and pumped and pumped because i was so afraid of supply issues after a tumultuous nursing relationship with my ten and a half pound rowan. i would pump after every feeding for about five months and would always get about eight ounces total. this time around ain't nobody got time for that - i am busy busy and lucky if i have enough energy at night to pump one or two times a week. i have almost zero supply saved up.

so i have been having a major emotional battle with myself about formula - wondering if i need to start...

i am not for now, because despite those few minutes of fussy diving back for my boob after a feeding, robin is totally content and happy and having tons of good messy diapers. then the other day tim pointed out how close we were to starting solids and i was reminded of our journeys with the girls. they all started at around four months, all for different reasons - it was the recommendation back then, formula just wasn't enough any more, etc etc and i realized that i was holding onto ideals and pressure from the outside world that it was affecting my own motherly instincts.

so, robin is five months and nine-teen days old and he started solids the other morning. i squeezed just a tiny bit of a happy tots pouch into a bowl and gave him his first bite. want to know what? he loved it. like opening his mouth, sticking out his tongue and squealing for more, loved it. nothing came back out, he mimicked chewing the mushy contents and swallowed like a pro ready for more. this kid loves food.

so, for now we wait on any formula notions and see what a meal or two of solids does in terms of supplementing with the "full" feeling he is lacking after a feeding. he still nurses about six times a day, getting around 5-6oz a feeding so we are by no means replacing any breast milk, just complimenting it.

i was all for baby led solids (or weaning but i don't like that word here) but when we skipped ahead to solids a little early i decided we would plum pouch it for awhile till robin mastered his solids skills and then re-evaluate what our next move would be. i got a baby breeza and am super excited to try a few of the recipes in their cook book - like sweet potato and mango? sign us up! also stalking some blw blog posts i learned about cutting avocado into tiny cubes and then tossing it in ground flax seed to give something a little easier to pinch and pick up.

i've been a mama for nine years now, i may not always be able to keep up this weeks parenting recommendation, but i have learned to trust my judgement and if that means taking cues from my two foot tall boss then that is what i do. happy eating babies!



7 comments:

melissa rohr said...

Oooh, avocado in flax seeds-I will have to remember that for Q, Dane was always having the avocado slip out of his hands.

melissa rohr said...

Good for you!! I think there is so much pressure out there to do, or not to do certain things. But for me, my instincts trump any recommendations. I know what is best for my kids and our family. Ya know?? Glad to hear Robin is all about the solids! Easton was not a fan when I first introduced them.. he didn't really "Get into" them until about 7 months. At which point, he was more into solids then he was breastfeeding. Ah well.

melissa rohr said...

I think you definitely have to go with your own convictions, knowledge, and your gut! There's no way to keep up with all of the latest.....but absolutely take into account new information and incorporate it into what you already know to work :) You've made it work three other times, I know with Rob it will be no different!

melissa rohr said...

right? genius!

melissa rohr said...

yea, you always wonder when you're starting out. he took to it so fast! the other day tim says, "he eats so well compared to stella!" and i said, yea that is because we started her at four months O_O

melissa rohr said...

exactly :)

melissa rohr said...

Isn't starting foods so fun! Max has been way more into it than Jemma ever was. His favorites right now are peas (of all things!), green beans and chicken!