Thursday, May 2, 2013

mama memoirs: i need a job

you know, other then the one where i oversee the growth and development of these four little people...

being a stay at home mom is not usually glamorous - it is being sick with a sinus cold and stomach bug on the day your husband starts his second job that keeps him away all the live long day. it is getting sick seconds after you notice the macaroni has forty-seven seconds left to cook, throwing your baby in the highchair and putting the toddler in charge of tiny mum piece distribution and praying no one touches the now probably boiling over pot of lunch. being a stay at home mom means getting really good at tuning out some of the seven thousand questions that are simultaneously asked by your toddler and preschooler. it is getting really good at taking fast showers and praying that your five year old babysitter actually watches the baby.

it's not glamorous, but it is amazing - i just have to vent, you know? because i love my kids like whoa but i have been needing a major reset or refresh or five minutes alone. lately my wants have taken such a backseat i don't even know if i am allowed to have them anymore. being a parent is giving your all to your family - but it isn't losing all of who you are and i think that line has blurred for me.

when talking about mother's day the other evening with my husband, after being asked what i wanted, i responded with, "twenty-four hours alone." i was instantly picturing a white fluffy hotel room bed, a tv that was at a normal volume (not one that wouldn't wake my sleeping bed hog, i.e the baby), room service, and the best part...silence. i wanted to be alone with my thoughts. tim said this was selfish - i think he was kidding, but proceeded with, "it's mother's day, you're suppose to spend it with those that made you a mother." picture my best blank stare, mouth open face - was he kidding me right now?

for nine years, that is roughly 3,285 days that have been spent with those that made me a mom so this year for mother's day i am calling a time out and taking a day for me. i am totally in a parenting rut and i think my kids are catching on and taking advantage. because that is what they do right? they smell weakness and attack. white flag...

i hate to write complain-y posts but that is what mama memoirs is about, no? finding community and support in seasons we are all deep in together?

i title this "i need a job" but i really just need more me time. for awhile i was making a girls night happen at least once a month and i felt like such a better mom when i was getting that constant reset. a chance to shake off the ups and downs of the past whatever amount of days and start over with renewed perspective. those flittered out eventually and have been resenting myself for not making more effort on behalf of my sanity. recently i talked with some of my other favorite blogger mamas about starting regular stay cations, i am determined to make this a real thing, my brain feels relaxed just thinking about it!

what do you do to reset and be a better mom? is it as simple as a hour long pedicure or do you dream of fluffy hotel rooms where the only sounds are you instagram-ing all of your alone time?



14 comments:

melissa rohr said...

I dont know how to reset. maybe that my problem. maybe its the 3,4,5 glasses if wine i have a night. usually that & a bubble bath can do the trick ;) im visiting from the mama memiors link up :)

melissa rohr said...

I dont know how to reset. maybe that my problem. maybe its the 3,4,5 glasses if wine i have a night. usually that & a bubble bath can do the trick ;) im visiting from the mama memiors link up :)

www.taranbrandon.blogspot.com

melissa rohr said...

I feel this way with just one kiddo...i honestly dont know how you get through your days! I think you're amazing!

melissa rohr said...

I totally relate, and I only have one child - until July. I hadn't been alone (without my 3 year old or husband or dog) for a straight 6 months until Tuesday night when I went to the grocery store BY MYSELF! It was a beautiful experience (but a hungry/pregnant woman at Wegmans aka the Disney Land of grocery stores is a bad idea... I got a lot of goodies ;)

melissa rohr said...

Girl I know how you feel, and I only have two kids. I love my husband but he truly does not understand how draining it can be to be a SAHM/WAHM. it's no joke. We all need a reset. I take frequent GNO, well once a month but that's frequent to me. And I also started working out 2-3 times a week and that has helped a lot with my sanity. So that's an idea for you?

melissa rohr said...

oh man I totally hear you! This is how I feel... I need to reset and have some time alone and just for me! As much as I love every second of being a mom, sometimes I just need some me time + I don't get that anymore.

melissa rohr said...

I don't think 24 hours of you time is selfish at all! I dream about the same thing:) I only have one baby though, so I shouldn't complain. I hope you are able to get some you time soon!

melissa rohr said...

I hear you, and it is absolutely not selfish at all to want some time alone and to just be. It's so hard to put into words or try to explain how tough being a SAHM can truly be, but it's so much more work than being in an office. Take some time for yourself before you get burnt out. If 24 hours is not doable, then maybe start with a morning each month to yourself.

melissa rohr said...

one baby or five babies, being a mom is exhausting! it's like running a marathon for 18 years - we all deserve a break along the way :)

melissa rohr said...

I so need to do that! I even made tim get me a treadmill and it is in our bedroom, just locking the door and walking along with my favorite movie sounds heavenly!

melissa rohr said...

haha, sometimes i wish i could get into wine. i bet that would totally help me shake off the day!

melissa rohr said...

thanks!! haha, that is where I was going with the "i need a job.." it would be so nice to have a real lunch hour where i didn't have to share or hide my chocolate!

melissa rohr said...

AMEN! I never thought of it as a marathon and even though I'm only 9 months in...YES! Perfect analogy:)

melissa rohr said...

I totally need to find a way to reset - most days I barely feel like I'm keeping up!